| This is a hilarious and semi-insane collection of man/dog relationship stories which includes chapters like Dog Evolution - From Darwin to Doggie Bags, Travels With Your Pet and Other Dog Disasters, Walking The Dog - The Great Two-Way Tinkle Tour, Dogs Driving Cars, and Dogs Drinking Beer. (The author is against dogs drinking and driving mainly because they'd always be trying to bump off cats and make it look like an accident.)
"Once the consummate cat lover, I now have a dog, Jake. This is a dog who falls out of bed during a bad dream and then growls because he believes I pushed him. This is a dog that while chasing two squirrels at once, will occasionally crash headlong into a tree. This is a dog who greets people at the door with a pink Easter bunny in his mouth, the one he stole from the kid next door. Jake is a Border Collie. Smartest breed known to man, and unfortunately, I got a dumb one."
The Dog Rules Damn Near Everything go something like this:
| Rule #1 |
The dog never goes in the house. Period. |
| Rule #2 |
Unless it's his birthday ... or it's cold ... or it's hot. |
| Rule #3 |
Okay the dog can go in the house, but never goes on the furniture |
| Rule #4 |
Okay, the dog can go on the old furniture but not the new furniture. |
| Rule #5 |
Okay the dog can go on the new furniture until it looks like old furniture then we'll sell all the bloody furniture. |
| Rule #6 |
The dog never lseeps on the bed. Period. |
| Rule #7 |
Okay, but only on his blanket at the foot of the bed |
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THE DOG ALWAYS RULES. No matter what. |
Kathy Gerbasi sent along the photos below
of her dog Huckleberry.
We want you to write the caption.
"The Literate Canine" and not only will you and your submission be
mentioned in William's weekly syndicated column as well as PETS
Magazine,the best entry
will be sent an autographed copy of
"The Dog Rules [Damn Near Everything]".
Email your caption submition:
williamjthomas@gmail.com
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All materials on this website are copyright William Thomas © If you only like dogs, don't buy this book. If you're an unabashed dog fool - this is your Dog Bible.
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